I set an intention for more visibility – to use my voice more powerfully – to more unapologetically stand in my truth… And so it began. 2020 happened. Some people are asking for it to be over.

But I see it more as an ego death. A mirror showing us all that isn’t working
And an invitation to explore our own deepest desires,
While working on the shadow of our world, our country, our relationships, our selves.

Through our listening, understanding, learning, educating, FEELING, and EXPRESSING emotions – of pain, rage, anger, guilt, shame, fear — we, as a collective, are seeing what HAS BEEN HERE ALL ALONG. Yes, it can be confronting.

But, as the shamans taught me, “You must feel it to heal it.” …By listening, understanding, learning, educating, feeling and expressing… we may *begin* repairing, rebuilding, and healing.

Before I dive into all the crazy experiences and lessons, let me pre-frame for you what I understand to be true… We set the intention. Make the ask. To HAVE the next level – whatever that is – more clients, more money, more followers, more visibility, more people engaging with you — whatever it is…

And then the Universe says OKAY – I will get you there in the fastest way possible.
It’s like the Universe is the GPS, and your intention is the coordinates.
There’s an infinite number of ways to reach your destination.
And so it takes you on the route that is in the highest service of your expansion.
And along that journey, you’re met with challenges – right?

And these challenges that will allow us – me and you – to grow into the leader that can handle that next level of abundance. Now struggling people get confused, frustration and say “Why is this happening to me?” Those who understand that there are no mistakes and are on their divine path are able to look objectively and see that these are LESSONS we need to learn.

At each level, there is, what I have coined as Emotional Atrophy.
What does this mean?

For example — on this one training in particular that I used to facilitate, I would often have clients say to me – I want MORE sales and clients – and I would respond with “MORE… okay. What would you do tmrw if 200 people came into your inbox and said they wanted to work with you?”

This is usually when I get a blank stare. “Uhh I don’t know.” What do you mean, you just said you wanted more and wanted to hit six figures. That’s what it looks like based on your numbers.

“Okay – how many people can you serve?” And I would have everyone answer… 5.

Okay well how are you going to scale your business if it’s not built to scale? And the outside of the business, was just a reflection of their internal beliefs. They prepared for what they were ready to receive.

Makes perfect sense right? Well, the same applies to us emotionally.
You might ask, “Why don’t I have 100,000 IG followers?”
You’re not a vibrational match for it.

Could caused by any number of beliefs…
Perhaps because you’re not using your full voice or people pleasing.
Maybe the fear of feedback, criticism, and spotlight from any more people…Or you aren’t aren’t able to manage your energy in holding that container. And that’s the Emotional Atrophy we are all working through at all times in order to expand and grow into the highest-level version of ourselves.

I set an intention for more visibility – to use my voice more powerfully – to more unapologetically stand in my truth – to attract the right people into my space… And so a series of uncomfortable situations began — with a variety of business relationships, from followers, to clients to team members.

I am sure I’m not the only person experiencing this, as this year as been one of a massive uprooting in the collective consciousness. The emotional buttons are being pushed, energy is shifting, and many are in the midst of their own messy healing. — And I know that as a light worker, this was where I needed to show up. Being the calm in thee middle of the storm.

As things came up, I was really proud of how I was able to manage my state and move through those conversations as a powerful coach. I’ve always been good at being calm and non-reactive, but I used to take it home with me and carry around the weight of other people’s stuff.

And now I just send it love and it doesn’t enter my energy field. And wow, I can hold a much greater container for healing because of that. It’s been beautiful to acknowledge the strength in my own presence and ability to not take things personally.

I mean, take a moment to reflect on how far you’ve come this year.  A midst all of the challenges, what’s something you’ve shown yourself that surprised you? Delighted you?

So in early July, I had a deepening in my spiritual awakening, through a combination of things – specifically Kambo. I recorded a whole podcast episode on that and on the experience, and if you haven’t listened, definitely check it out in the show notes.

Literally the next day, I started to notice a small handful of people nit-picking my posts — seemingly out of no where. And I was with my friend Kathrin and I was like WOAH – look! Something has shifted in my energetic field. Something about this feels different.

For example, I made a post on IG that said Embrace Low-Vibration Emotions, and I went on to describe and reframe how we can use jealousy, blame, and resentment for deeper understanding.

I wrote “All emotions carry a message. If we blanket label them as good or bad we filter out valuable information. Do not allow the judgement of your emotions to prevent you from truly extracting the message, the lesson. One person made a comment about how I was describing envy not jealousy and someone else made a comment about LOW VIBRATION STATE.

It didn’t feel energetically like – or appear in a framing of the language – that these individuals wanted to add to the conversations and share their perspective, it was them coming in with a correction.

Now, to be clear I wasn’t like upset, I was talking to my friend fascinated by the quantum reasoning for this was happening and how it was so exciting that I was upleveling.

I thought to myself “I would never do that.” I don’t agree with every choice every person makes or every belief someone expresses on the internet, but DUH, they have different values, beliefs, desires, needs, ways of processing emotions, ways of learning, etc. etc.

But this is where most people get lost… filtering someone else’s behavior through their own lens and model of the world, while forgetting that no two people have the exact same filters through which how they see the world.

So I started thinking… what WOULD cause or drive someone to do that?
It ALLLL comes down to the energy behind the intention.
And if you’ve been to Tony Robbins and know the 6 Human Needs, the answer is probably obvious.
The 6 human needs are: Certainty, Un/variety, Significance, Love/Connection, Growth, Contribution

Now we all need all of these to be met, to varying degrees, in differing ways. But, in today’s social media world, what has become the primarily driver of MOST people? Significance.

And so for those who are commenting on a post carrying this incessant need to right – showing up JUST to try and make you wrong— it’s like WOAH, THAT IS A LOT OF SIGNIFICANCE… isn’t it?

And especially if you “have a “lot” of followers,” (w/e that means) or deemed an “influencer” or whatever — that’s even MORE potential for significance. A true take down. And we’ve seen things happen a lot from this energy. SO it brings us to this question of, where is this really coming from?
It’s something to really sit with and observe.

Most people chase significance because they BELIEVE it will give them love and connection… but why don’t they go right to asking for L/C? Well, for many there is a belief that they need to achieve in order to earn love — or be gain significance in order to be worthy to receive connections. Makes sense, right?So they chase significance.

And then you throw all the things happening in 2020 on TOP of that… okay…
This has been an interesting 5 months when it comes to CERTAINTY. One of the 6 human needs.

Now I can’t speak for everyone, but in the circles I am in, there seems to be an overall understanding that this moment in time is a great awakening of the collective consciousness, a lifting of the veil, an uprooting what is not in service of us or the planet — so we are mostly stepping into our healing work, leading with light, and knowing that it’s all happening FOR us and our planet.

But the large majority of people, CERTAINTY isn’t being met… it’s one of our 6 human needs.

As a result, that’s birthing a whole new ripple of survival behaviors.
A shift away from genuine conversations…
To doubling and tripling down on the need to be right…

To control… Judgement… Name-calling…

Because as my friend James Wedmore beautifully articulated in a recent convention, when our expectations aren’t met, (and 2020 defff didn’t meet expectations,) we feel disappointed… and when we feel disappointed we want to blame. And that blame is going to be pointed internally or externally…

And right now there is a lot of blame and judgement being pushed out externally, at all the things.
Now I’m not saying any of this is right or wrong. It’s simply is.

And I felt called to share and unpack my understanding of this, to support my fellow leaders and light workers — to help them acknowledge and understand — so that we can hold the container for deeper compassion and healing. Because right now, there is a lot of anger, fear, sadness being shifted.

SO. Coming back to significance.

Now – we touched on OTHER people fulfilling the need for significance… but what about OUR need for significance? This is big. And it often comes in the form of likes, comments, testimonials, love notes…

But with the visibility of all that love, also comes criticism. The one star reviews. The troll comments. The character attacks. Hello weird internet world. Now where most people spin their wheels is they will do just about ANYTHING to AVOID criticism… so they don’t use their voice, show up, lead….

But, what they haven’t figured out yet, is the only way you can be in that susceptible to be shaken by criticism is if you’re overvaluing the positive feedback. Now I’m not a zen master when it comes to this, but I can tell you how detrimental it was for my own mental health to literally LIVE for the claps.

Back in my musical theater performing days, confirmation from my teachers or mentors that I was doing a “good job” was my FUEL. I NEEDED that validation because I had no idea how to trust in myself, or my own work. Like I remember doing a Shakespeare monologue specifically making an acting choice, not because it was connected, but because I knew my coach Joe would be like YES, you nailed that – you really imbued that word with it’s meaning. I look back on that version of myself and it’s just unrecognizable.

But especially living a life of the audition hustle, where every day is met with hearing “no.” — you need a strong sense of self. ( hey, not so different from building an online business)

I know now, it wasn’t a confidence issue. That’s so surface level and doesn’t address the actual problem. It just observes the result of a deeper symptom.

Sure, I had no self-esteem, no boundaries, no clear voice, etc… and so for years I had worked on rebuilding myself and shifting beliefs and practices in those areas.

But there was still something that I didn’t even realize was missing until I got the new level of knowing and integrated it about a month ago.. This has made a profound impact on who I am and how I will live my life… forever. And it took the strangest circumstance for me to see my power and for it to CLICK and integrate.

A few weeks back, there was someone on IG, who I don’t know at all, who disagreed with me. They used my photo alongside pointed character attacks, tagged me in IG stories to send their friends over to idk shame me?, and THEN posted a comment on one of my photos insulting me — saying they wanted to understand and were all ears.

I replied and let the person know that I could appreciate that they felt passionately about their point of view, but that I was skeptical of that being their intention given their actions. I asked, if you had a disagreement with your spouse, and the goal was understanding, is this how you would move towards resolution?

As predicted, the person proceeded to go back on IG stories, share screen shots of our already public conversation, and I was like, okay. Share away. Now, I’m sharing a specific event with you because, being on the receiving end of THIS type of behavior is what so many people, who are becoming visible, deeply fear.

And I felt called to talk about this here. To lift the veil.

1. To hopefully show you that there will be people who disagree and if you choose to engage in a conversation, you can maintain your energetic state and your integrity.

2. Even when things in life happen that you’d love to fast forward through — see what it’s like to stay present. It can become really powerful lessons + powerful content.

3. And show you that I am safe. I am happy. And I am deeply loved.

There’s been some fascinating behavior on display over the last few months. I mean, I don’t think anyone would WANT someone else to say negative things about their character, skew the truth, take things out of context. The works. (BC WHAT IF people think its true — what if IT’S TRUE!?)

But I’ll tell you, what was so fucking powerful through the experience was the awareness that the imagined version of it or anticipation of this maybe happening one day is far more ominous.

It was interesting being on the receiving end of that display of anger…
Because in that moment, I realized that “Wow.”
None of that matters.
Not that the person doesn’t matter.
That person matters greatly and is processing their own souls work.
Now, am I going to grab brunch with this person? No.

But I honor this person for where they is in their process and know that the Universe brought this to me to support me in my own expansion. Because everything in your reality is your mirror.

And your response to your world, shows you what is happening inside of you.

Those emotions come from somewhere. And the way we communicate our feelings and thoughts is also a mirror for our emotional maturity and shines a light on any maladaptive communication and coping behaviors. And so, as you become more visible know that when people give you feedback, they can only do so to the level to which they’ve done their own inner work.

My friend Kathrin said something so powerful that really helped to quantify this. She compared this concept to personal development books. And it’s not so much of — Are you really going to take feedback from the person who’s read one personal development book? And more of being able to see HOW people give you feedback and understand the “one book” lens equivalent from which their feedback is coming to you.

It’s all a mirror for us, right? So in order for someone’s words to penetrate, it must already exist inside of us. And then we dropped into to match and mirror their vibrational set point.

And the more CERTAIN energy always wins – in the sense of isn’t overtaken by the other.
So yeah, I was like – Wow. None of this matters.
Because this is not my truth. And I know my truth. More than ever before.

And what it really came down to was, someone wanted to manipulate me into saying something or doing something that wasn’t true for me. It’s this — be who I want you to be, do what I expect of you, say what I believe you should say or there will be consequences.

Now I don’t know who raised ya’ll, but I’ve never been forced to have any voice but my own.
And I have to laugh because this person must believe that the thing I value most in my life is my reputation. And it’s not. Far from it.

And someone who shows up to conflict resolution in this way is soooo not my ideal client, so… their opinion really carries no weight in my life. And like – I’m alive, happy, laughing, living life to the fullest. I have an amazing, loving family. Michael, the love of my life of 13 years, still thinks I’m the shit and can’t wait to marry me. I am fulfilled, in my purpose doing what I do, and my clients still love working with me.And even if my business was gone tomorrow, I’d be okay.

I know this to be true, because when I parted ways with a business partner 3 years ago, I started from scratch. So I know how to build businesses. Hard earned, valuable lessons.

No one can take away my knowledge. My experience. My skill. Mastery. Passion. Joy. And the breakthrough of all breakthroughs.Most importantly, no one can take away my connection to source. – God, the universe, all that is.
No matter what. You guys, I don’t know if that landed for you.

You’re receiving it as my passed-on knowledge, but when THAT clicked as inner knowing, it was like my brain exploded. I was like, holy fuck. Literally fear doesn’t exist. There is nothing to fear. Because all it is is based in the belief that there will be a disconnection or loss of something, but the connection to source IS the thing, and everything else is bonus — and without the connection to source nothing really matters – money, relationships, fancy house, none of it.

And like wow, I have nothing to fear and everything to experience on a whole new level of fullness.

When approached with any criticism or feedback, valid or not, it’s ultimately a choice to let someone who is out of alignment with their connection to source pull you out of your connected center, OR you can stay aligned in your connection.

Then you can remember that no one can take away my connection to source.

And so THAT is where I need to continue to spend my time, cultivating a relationship – for me it’s with all things beyond – that’s the nudge to deepen in THAT space and lead from that knowing.

And to bring it all back — the only reason you care what other people think is because you’re forgotten your connection with source. Right?

I shared this at the end of the Kambo episode, but Kathrin and I had a conversation and she said, “No one knows me the way I know myself in ceremony.”

And I was like, “RIGHT? I didn’t realize I didn’t even know myself until during and after ceremony…” And that’s what it is… especially on social media, because we share so much of our lives, there’s as my brilliant client Sarah Chappell put it, an “Assumed Intimacy.”

But I mean, even the people you love most in your life can only know their projection of you. And it may get pretty close, but it’s still only a sliver of who you are and what is really inside of you.

No one’s projection of you can be more you than the you that is connected to your creator.

So if you take anything away from this episode, it’s my invitation to let the F go of what other people think and to spend time connecting with your divine magical self. The fact that your soul chose to jump into THIS body, in this moment of time, with this passion, to carry out this path is not a mistake.

And if you’re ready to deepen in this path, I am excited to share that we are going to be opening up a membership! Because that was spirit wants me to DO! It’s going to be a space for entrepreneurs who want a spiritual, brain-based approach to business. Full embodiment!

We’re not releasing full details just yet, but there will be some super cool extra special fun things to those who grab their spots on the waitlist at heyjencasey.com/membership link in the show notes.