Are you the person that says, “I want to start a business, but for some reason, I don’t follow through…”?
Today we are going to create more certainty around success and take massive, messy action.
I work with hundreds of entrepreneurs, ranging from brand-spanking new to those who are already making over 5 figures. But, no matter what level someone is at, there’s always that next level that we’re all striving to reach.
What is stopping you right now?
You know that there’s something on your to-do list. You know there’s a project, or a course, or a mentor to hire, or something that you’ve been putting off that you know is going to be the doorway to your next break. And for some reason, you’re just shooting yourself in the foot and you’re running from that success. I want to share with you today some tools and insights that are based in psychology. This is not
Number One: “Destination Fixation.”
If I’m riding my bike and I’m saying, I hope I don’t hit the curb.… well, if you’re focusing on the curb, where’s your bike going? It’s going into the curb. But, if you focus on where you want to go, that’s where you’re going to end up in the spiritual realm. It’s called thoughts become things, or what you focus on expands. And in psychology, it was coined by Robert K. Merton as the self-fulfilling prophecy.
Essentially, this is where we as human being make a prediction about what we see for ourselves and what we think we’re going to achieve. This prophecy of ours becomes true. We manifest it based on our beliefs and behaviors.
These are things that are going to set the tone of your entire life; your behavior is going to follow that thought, and then that compounded over time becomes your entire experience.
So, we really want to think about how we are interacting with the world, whether it be in business, in personal relationships, in higher achievement. How are you thinking about what you can possibly achieve? Simple example: if you go to a party with your boyfriend and you think to yourself, “No one’s going to like me at this party. No one’s going to like me, and I don’t have any friends here. No one’s going want to talk to me. It’s going to be a miserable time. I don’t like anyone here.”
You start saying this to yourself prior to going, so what’s going to happen when you walk in the door? Are you going to be friendly, approachable, open to meet new people? No. You’re going to be staying there in the corner with your arms crossed, your eyes down, with a chip on your shoulder… and when you leave the party, you’re probably looking at your boyfriend going, “I don’t like your friends. No one talked to me. They’re rude and not friendly.” But who really created that situation? I mean, maybe his friends are a-holes, but essentially you created that. The energy that you brought into the room was, “I don’t want to be friends with you.” and your physiology and your physicality reflected what you were thinking and feeling. Because of that, the perception of other people in the room may have been, “She seems uncomfortable.” but most women are not going to look that deep into it. They’re going to think you’re rude, mean and not fun to talk to. So, you’re sitting there, having fulfilled the things that you previously believed.
In life, we seek out situations, opportunities, and scenarios that reaffirm our beliefs.
That’s why there are some people who believe relationships are horrible and toxic. This is a person who always ends up in a very toxic relationship, because that’s their belief, their perception and their standard for what a relationship is. No surprise when that is what they continuously find over and over and over again. I remember reading a Marianne Williamson book, and she said something to the effect of, “The universe is going to continuously give you the same scenarios over and over and over again until you freaking learn from them.” I’m paraphrasing of course, but in a nutshell: the universe is going to continuously give you the same situation things over and over again because it’s saying, “Push through it. Figure it out. Everything’s figure-out-able.
What do you need to do in this moment? How do you need to experience growth in this moment?
If you continuously ignore it, you’re basically just smacking the universe or God (or whatever you want to call it) in the friggin’ face. So let’s not do that, especially since you’re someone that wants to live an exceptional, extraordinary, incredible life. I remember when I went to an audition a few years ago, and it was in this big space, almost a cattle call. There were hundreds of people shoved into a room, and I didn’t realize that I would not only be auditioning in front of probably 50 different theaters, but I was also going to be auditioning in front of every single person waiting in line. Talk about being in the hot seat. Prior to this audition, I was thinking to myself, “It’s going to be a train wreck. Maybe I should just not go. I’m unprepared.” I had put that out in the universe that I was going to do a shit job.
Naturally, I did not prepare appropriately. I think it was two days before I finally decided to read some of the more detailed rules. My monologue that I was going to present, lo and behold, was on the “Do Not Use” list. So I went, thinking, “Well, I’m already a failure because I already picked something that they specifically recommended you not do because it’s overdone.” I’m freaking out. I go in, I sing my song….and it doesn’t go so well. I was in line and I realized, as I was two people away from the accompanist, that I had the wrong markings in my book. I had the wrong things highlighted.
Talk about a train wreck.
But, Hello.
This was my personal prophecy.
This is what I believed was going to happen.
I put it out in the universe that this was going to be a train wreck, and it’s no surprise that five seconds before I had to go hand him my book of music, I’m trying to fix things. And then, of course, I go and do my monologue. It’s the wrong one; you’re not supposed to do it…AND you’re supposed to make it so that it’s one minute. You don’t want to get cut off by the auditioners. Guess what: it’s the wrong length, so I get cut off. I’m freaking out, and I didn’t get a single callback. I was unprepared.
I manifested a giant ominous failure, and I was crushed.
For months, I didn’t want to audition. That was one of my big, epic failures of being a performer early on. But then, on the flip side, you can also have a self-fulfilling prophecy that is incredibly empowering and strong.
Have you ever heard Jim Carrey’s story?
He was a no one. He had no directors or anyone interested in him. But he made a decision. He went on Mulholland Drive in California and wrote himself a check for $10M dollars and was thinking to himself, “I have all these directors interested in me. I’m so successful.” He dated it three years from the day, right before Thanksgiving 1995. He kept it in his wallet, and as it was getting crumpled up and crinkled… He got cast in Dumb and Dumber and made $10M.
The whole idea of thoughts become things, self-fulfilling prophecy, destination fixation: it is the real deal.
Now, most people are not intentional about setting a clear vision of what they actually want. Your body and behavior responds to what you put out there. Most people are not being intentional about that; they’re not writing it out. They’re just letting it happen on autopilot.
Spiritual or not: you are a creator.
You are constantly manifesting things that are happening.
If you want to live an extraordinary life, you’ve got to start saying more positive things to yourself.
I don’t even want to call them positive. But, be very clear about what it is you actually want. If you don’t want to get mugged walking down the street, stop thinking about that. If you want to make $10M, start focusing on that. When you really start to get rid of the old limiting beliefs and start to solidify these new more empowering beliefs, that over time is going to create new neural pathways or triggers in your brain. When you wake up in the morning, instead of thinking, “Another day. I’m so tired. I’m a failure. Nothing great’s going to happen.” If you wake up with incredible beliefs, and in an insane amount of certainty around what you can accomplish.
When you have freaking certainty – which is next level up from beliefs – you’re unstoppable.
That’s how I was able to create the success that I currently have in my business, and I’m not done. I’m always looking for that next great thing. What is the next thing that’s going to scare the bejeezus out of me, and what do I need to do to get crazy uncomfortable so that I can continue growing? As human beings, that is 100% what we crave. We need that certainty.
How can you manifest that for yourself?
Of course, being around other like-minded people and not the Debbie Downers. I want to talk a little bit about the Rosenthal Jacobson study in psychology. There was a study that they did where they had a class of students. They all had an IQ test at the beginning of the year, and they tested to see who were the high achievers. They didn’t tell the teachers who the actual high achievers were. They randomly picked a handful of students, went back to the teachers and made them aware of the exceptional kids. At the end of the year, they re-tested the kids and it was a remarkable study. The kids who the teachers believed to be exceptional tended to achieve even higher. They had more exponential growth than all the other students.
What’s the deal with that?
The expectation and the higher standard made them show up. It forced them to up level and push a little harder, because that’s what was expected of them. Kind of amazing, right?
So, think about that in your own life.
Where are you setting your standard?
Are the people around you just coasting?
Do you need to get around people who are making 10x what you’re making?
Do you need to get around people who are exceptional talents?
One of my mentors, Bo Eason, is an incredible storyteller and speaker. He is all about high-performance players. His standards are unbelievably high, and he told the story of how when he was a young kid, his goal at nine years old was to be the best safety in the NFL safeties position. That was his 20 year plan.
Not only did he make it to the NFL, but I think four other kids in his age bracket from his high school also made it into the NFL. The statistics for even making it that far in a sport are so small. But why did those four make it? Because they all freaking played at such a high level. He credits himself with being the driving force behind deciding that they were all going to have to perform even higher and be more excellent.
Get around those people who are high creatives, who are pushers, who want more. Have mentors in your life who are going to push you even further.
You might be connected with a group right now, and for the last six months it’s been a great ride and you’ve pushed each other. But now, they’ve all hit their highest mark and you’re sitting there craving more. What’s next? Find a new group. Find a new success partner. Find a new mentor. Find a new business idea, or something to get into.
What is the next best thing for you?
When I went to Tony Robbins, I had an incredible experience. I walked across hot coals and they spent the entire first day of “Unleash the Power Within” prepping you for walking across these coals. One of the things that they specifically say is, “Do not look down at the coals when you walk across. You have to look up and say, “cool moss” over and over again.
The reason they’re telling you not to look down at the “moss” is because, what happens when your eyes that it’s not moss? They see hot coals. That gets sent to your brain, and your brain goes, THIS IS HOT. This is panic, because everything we’ve ever known about fire and hot coals is that if you touch fire, you’re going to get burnt.
Well crazy enough, I walk across just thinking, “Cool moss.”
First step, I felt the heat.
Three steps in, “holy crap this is hot.”
And then steps four, five and six… I felt nothing. And I was done. It was insane.
And… I didn’t get burned!
I walked across 2000 degree coals, and I did not get burned.
If you haven’t been to a Tony event, I highly recommend it. It was such a crazy experience, but really just a life changing one at that.
Number Two: Priming the Mind
How are you getting your mind, your brain, and your emotional body ready for each and every moment of every day? A lot of highly successful people and spiritual leaders talk about how, first thing in the morning, they do not interact with anyone until they have done their morning ritual. They are priming themselves to get in a positive state, because that’s going to set the tone for their entire day.
Let’s talk about being negative in the morning. When you just wake up and you realize you’re late. You slept through the alarm. You freak out. You jump out of bed and run in the shower. There’s no hot water. You stub your toe. You nick yourself shaving. You get in the car, and there’s an accident. The entire day is in a tailspin.
So many negative things keep happening. You spill your coffee when you stop short in your car, and you spend the entire day in a pissed off mood. You’re just waiting for some wine at the end of the night, and you spend the entire day chasing the day.
You’re trying to catch up or trying to get ahead, as opposed to being present in the moment.
It’s really important that we find our personal system, because everyone’s different. I’m going to give you some suggestions. But it’s important to find your own system of priming yourself, especially those of you who have families. This is going to be a little bit more challenging. I don’t want to put that out in the universe for you, but if they wake up before you, it’s important that you establish some time for yourself in the morning. You need to get your mindset right before all of the chaos begins. If you’re an entrepreneur and you work from home, if you wake up and freaking open your phone and start looking at Instagram and Facebook and YouTube and your email, you’ve just lost your day. You’ve lost your day, and you’ve allowed yourself to wake up using anxiety. That’s not a good thing.
Do not allow yourself to get awake by using anxiety.
We want to allow our bodies to be awake, be in a peak state, and be present; because we were intentional about the energy that we decided to put in early in the morning.
So, to practice priming, you can certainly use meditation.
Any successful person that you talk to is going to tell you that they meditate in some way. Some people say, “I can’t sit still. I just go for a run or I go do yoga. And to me, that’s meditation.”
I don’t think meditation necessarily means you need to clear your mind.
I think when people who are maybe more Type A go in with the intention of clearing their mind, they just get anxiety. And it’s very, very counterproductive. There’s no one right way to do it. But, the more relaxed and the deeper the breath, the better.
We want to really oxygenate your body first thing in the morning.
I also recommend doing personal development. It doesn’t have to be more than 10 minutes; just something to get your brain in the right space. One quick note on this that I noticed in my own life: I have been doing personal development for many, many, many years but I’ve noticed that if I wake up and do a podcast or read some kind of business book, instead of grounding me and getting me in a positive mindset, it freaks me out. I already have a “to do” list and then I’m like, “Oh, that’s another cool idea. I’ve got to implement that.” Then my day is lost.
So, if you’re that type of a person, I recommend a more laid back personal development; maybe that is more psychology or spiritually based. Something that’s going to allow you to really ease into the day with just a really positive mindset.
I learned from Tony that you can also have some kind of “power move.” He says, invent your power move, and you say, “Yes!”, and then you jump up and down and you celebrate.
I will tell you that, because I work from home and I’m by myself most of the day, jumping up and down and celebrating with that level of peak energy is not something that I’ve had in my business for a long time. I am so excited to be adding this to my routine. I’m going to tell you right now, it has changed my energy.
This last week and a half, I am on a different level.
I am using my physiology to get it to respond with me. You could sit there and you can visualize positive things, but what I learned from Tony and what I learned from Mike Dooley (who does “Notes from the Universe” – he’s more of a life coach) is to scream out “WOOHOO!!!” and jump up and down. Because, that’s essentially neuro linguistic programming, or NLP. It’s so flippin’ powerful. I’m friggin’ obsessed with it right now. It’s insane.
Another thing to do is gratitude and positive affirmations.
What are you grateful for today? These may be things that you have heard about before in your life. “That’s a nice idea. That would probably make me feel better if I did that every day.” But have you done it? Have you actually implemented it? Have you been consistent with it?
Maybe you’ve been consistent with it for a week and then you fall off. I’m telling you right now: this is your sign. This is your moment.
Get back into the momentum of doing those things so that you have a morning anchor.
Having that anchor for your day is how you begin to drive yourself, so that throughout the day, you have insane amounts of energy.
You are at that peak level of high performance. That is what successful people do.
I’m sitting there watching Tony freaking Robbins stand on stage for probably 14+ hours taking us through these intensely emotional things. The man doesn’t eat, he doesn’t pee, and he doesn’t stop talking. It is incredible. It is freakin’ insane. And how does he do it? Well, he’s got a lot of tricks of the trade. But, he has these foundational pieces of priming himself.
What’s crazy too is, when you prime yourself, and you get your mindset right and ready for the day, your perception of life is different.
If you’re going, “I am craving more happiness right now,” you might be chasing significance, a certain income level, or a significant other. But, I’m telling you right now… at the end of the day, we only want those things because we believe it’s going to make us happier. You are chasing love, connection, and happiness. The fastest way to expedite that process is by making yourself in a Peak State.
When you’re in a peak state, you become a freaking energy magnet for all things amazing.
The things, opportunities and people that come into your life will suddenly start to just expand. I mean the growth rate is unbelievable. Think about it. Two people can go and see the exact same movie. One person says, “That was the biggest piece of garbage I’ve ever seen.” And the other person says, “Oh my God. I loved that. It was my favorite movie of all time.” Well, why does that happen? We all have different experiences, different memories, perceptions, interests, expectations, and we all walk in a different emotional state. So, if you walk into a movie like The Notebook and you’ve just had a series of deaths in your family, you’re probably going to be a little bit more touchy and emotional during that experience.
We are all walking in and experiencing life in different ways. But, if you can be more intentional about it, you can exponentially start to skyrocket your success.
Number Three: Raise Your Frickin’ Standards
How big are you thinking for your life?
I realized this for myself. One of my big goals three years ago, April of 2014. I wrote down on a piece of paper that I would have a six figure launch. I would make $100K selling some kind of online course. Two years later, we sold our course and we made over six figures. Then, multiple six figures. Then another multiple six figures. I came to this place a few months into that going,
“Oh my God… I did it. Now what? Now what’s next?”
That’s been something that was on my goal list for years. What is my next break? I don’t know if you’ve experienced this, but I know I did. I thought to myself, “Can I even ask for more?” But I did it. I truly asked myself, on a very tangible but also on a very spiritual level, what that next thing I was supposed to do. And, not just what it looked like, but what was it supposed to feel like?
I was really feeling into what I wanted life to be. And through doing that, I’ve been able to raise my standards.
I’ve raised my expectations for what I can achieve in this lifetime.
I’ve thought of what I can do, the lives that I can impact, the people that I can spend time with, the circles that I want to run in… all of these things. I had to raise my standards and believe that I’m worth it.
“Why the heck not? Why not me?!”
Ask yourself the same. When it comes to raising your standards, it’s insane how when one person achieves something great, they have created the path for other people to succeed.
You don’t need to reinvent the wheel, but success does leave clues.
I’m a huge fan of American Ninja Warrior, because I love seeing people at their peak state achieving exceptional things. If you’re not familiar with the show, it’s this crazy amazing obstacle course. People who are in their peak physical conditioning are jumping across obstacles and doing all of these amazing things with their bodies. For years, this last piece of the course was the warped wall. It’s a “U”-shaped wall and it’s pretty high. No woman had ever made it up the warped wall. Until this one 5-foot girl, Kacy Catanzaro, who was a gymnast and an incredible athlete… she made it up the warped wall. Well you better believe, the season after she made it up, all of a sudden all of these women were making it up.
She raised the bar for what was possible prior to that; when we were saying, “Well, no one’s ever done it, so I guess it’s not possible.”
She made it possible.
She opened up the ability for people to believe that it could happen.
You will get something like the placebo effect. If there is a new study coming out for a drug, they’ll have a test group. They’ll give a group of people whatever the new medication is, and then they’ll give the other group just a sugar pill and it’s the placebo. It’s nothing. It doesn’t have any medication in it. So then, they’ll test to see the changes in the groups. Now, the doctors who are administering these drugs are in a double blind study. They don’t know who has the placebo and who has the actual medication. And when the doctors don’t know, it makes it really incredible to see the changes in people. But the funny thing is, when the doctors don’t know, the people who have the placebo tend to also see positive changes in their health. Because, if the doctor believes that it might be the real thing and they’re saying, “This will help your health,” all of a sudden things are clearing up.
And that’s really all about the power of the mind.
If we think it’s possible, we can get not just our mindset and our beliefs, but every single cell of our freaking bodies to cooperate.
We just vibrate on a completely different level. We are literally made up of energy. We are energy, just like everything else in this universe. If you start getting your mindset and thinking at that higher level, the vibration of your energy will change.
And I mean, look at the Olympics and the Guinness Book of World Records. Why are the records always being broken? Why are these names always being replaced? Because people are always setting a new standard. They’re always pushing the bar. They come up with new training techniques, and then that person runs even faster, and they achieve at an even higher level.
That’s human growth. That’s experience.
That’s something that we crave.
Your assignment for today is to really start beginning to hack your own psychology.
Write down where you currently have your beliefs, and then on the other side, I want you to write what your new beliefs are.
I want you to write down where you have currently set your bar or your personal best…
And then I want you to figure out how can you find a new level of great.
If you guys are not already inside the Facebook group, you can find us by going to heyjencasey.com/group.
Come hang out with other people who are like-minded entrepreneurs who are looking to level up!
