Today I want to discuss how to overcome the fear of success and to receive abundance in your business, and we have two very special guests: Kris Britton and Lauren Eliz!
Kris (will be labeled as KB) is a spiritual life coach and success coach who helps women dissolve their blocks so they can live in wild freedom, reading love and flowing wealth. She’s also the founder of Team Goddess Bosses, a global community sharing the benefits of reclaiming your true power, health, and living your dreams with complete freedom. Over the last few years, Kris has helped over 100 women reach five and six figure incomes working from home, and has been featured in both Success Magazine and Women’s Health and Fitness Magazine. So amazing!
Lauren Eliz (labeled LE) is a life coach and Business Mastery teacher. She shows people how to authentically lead in their businesses. She focuses on helping people remove their money blocks while creating overall fulfillment and spiritual alignment in their business journeys. She helps people live in the stretch so they can push past the blocks they have about growing in their business, so they can make the money they truly deserve.
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Jen Casey (JC): I am so excited and so grateful that you guys are here today.
LE: I’m really happy to be here. I’m so excited.
KB: Thank you so much. I love you.
JC: Actually, it’s kinda crazy how I met Lauren. Lauren and I have known each other since 2007. It was a crazy twist of fate. We were both on our way to college auditions in Manhattan on a subway with our moms and my mom (being the overly friendly human she is) says, “I feel like they’re going to the same place.”“Are you guys going to the audition? Yeah, we’re going there too.” So the universe was just, like, “BE FRIENDS.”
LE: And MY mom was the one that was like, “Don’t talk to strangers. Be careful. Who is that crazy girl???” But, yeah, it was amazing.
JC: It was so random! And we ended up knowing, like, so many of the same people. And then, not only were actually going to the same place, we had the same first letter of our last names. So, we end up sitting next to each other through the entire audition process.
The universe brought us together.
And I just think it’s so funny how, at 18, although we were so aware of the universe and how it was bringing us together… we never spoke again. We literally did not speak for ten years.
LE: SO WEIRD. And I remember that moment so vividly, because that was such a big monumental shift moment in our lives, right?! We were going for auditions.
JC: And we were both like, “Are we gonna get in!??!” And then, we never spoke again.Then, ten years later, randomly a friend of a friend shared a blog and it was yours! I was like, “Oh I know that girl!! Oh I remember her!” So I started following you, and you were like, “Wait, how do I know you? This is so weird. I know you from somewhere.” And then the rest is history. We’ve been besties ever since.
KB: No way. So funny.
JC: But anyway! I’m really excited to have you guys on today, and I want you to share a little bit about where you guys came from. Talk about what brought you into the entrepreneurial space, and just a little bit about what you do; for those people who are not already familiar with your work.
KB: Ok! Hi guys! I have been an entrepreneur for the last six or seven years. Successfully, for the last five. The first few years were not so. (Well, that’s not true, because you learn a lot, right?) Gosh. Back, about eight years ago or so, I was actually laid off my job. And from a young, young, young, young age I just knew that I wanted to be a business owner. Like, I was the one that would set circuses up in the backyard and charge the neighborhood kids 75 cents to come. So I KNEW it was in me. My last job was actually with a software company with my fiance’s sister, and I knew I wanted to do something different. That’s when I dove into learning about the law of attraction, your emotions, how you can manifest.
And I manifested being laid off.
The company actually shut down and I was just kind of thrown into my own journey!
I knew I wanted to be a coach. I used to read success magazines, that were saying like, “Oh, you know, these network marketers are on jet skis!” And I wanted to do that! So we kind of dove in and tried a few different companies here and there with not very much success.
My work as a spiritual coach really came when I was at my lowest point.
I was 29 years old, and I remember laying on the floor, feeling like a prisoner in my own body; almost like I just wanted to rip it open and run. I knew something was in there, but I also knew something was stopping me that wasn’t my truth. This is what led me into the work I do today. I was laying on the floor and I remember screaming up to the sky, crying. We had literally no money. We weren’t eating. And I said, “Why do you hate me so much?!” In a moment, a voice said, “Get up and go. Just keep leading.”
Two days later, our friend reached out to us and said, “I’m joining this new network marketing company, and you’ve gotta come with me.” And Ryan and I said, “OK.” And within ten months, we were making six figures. That was our first dose of success, leadership, and
knowing that we could create what we wanted based on what feels the best for us.
So, we took that opportunity to build a business around energy and emotion and creating relationships with people that way. It just skyrocketed. Then, we decided to step out of that and into coaching… and here I am! Now coaching along with a beautiful team of Goddess Bosses and building a business so differently than you used to think you had too. I’m more in flow, now that I fully understand what I’m here to do and why I’m here.
JC: I literally just got chills. When you’re laying on the ground, that is so crazy powerful. And it’s like, when you just surrender and ask. Man. It’s amazing.
LE: Yeah. It’s so funny, because like Kris is talking about how when she was a kid, she had these passions to be an entrepreneur. I remember – and I don’t know if either of you remember this – when I was a kid, the American Girl doll Books series?
There was one for your body, and it was supposed to be, “This is everything you need to know about becoming a woman.” And then, there was one for being an entrepreneur (which I’m pretty sure they discontinued…because, like, child labor laws…that would not be a good thing.) But, this book was all about how to start your own business and even had these little cards you could tear out. I was OBSESSED with that book. And looking back, that was the childhood moment when I knew I was not meant to fit in and do what everybody else does. You know what I mean?
So I had that moment, but then I just totally ignored it for the rest of my life. I did everything I should be doing. I don’t know about you, Jen, if you felt that way. But when I was doing what I was supposed to do, it never worked out. It never felt right.
JC: Gosh, yeah, all the “shoulds.”
So many people have “shoulds.” The “shoulds” will literally bury you.
So, for you guys, in this crazy journey of getting to this place where you are thought leaders in your industries; you’re the go-to experts… What are some of your biggest failures or what’s the the rock bottom moment that you’ve had?
As an entrepreneur, there are so few people that share the realness of, “Oh, one of my launches made zero dollars.” But I feel like you are just so unbelievably authentic in your message; so raw, so real, not hiding anything. So I want to see if you guys had any specific moments to share?
LE: I love this question so much. I could spend the whole podcast talking about my failures.
I’ve still saved the logo from “What is Perfection?” that I made for the first time. It looks ridiculous. It looks like a five year old child created this picture. Actually, I had a lot of failure moments on the drive towards getting where I am now. I tried to get into MLMs because I thought that getting into a network marketing company was going to be OK for me. But, I wasn’t authentically or energetically aligned with what it was offering. I tried Beachbody, I tried YoungLiving. I was just trying to pick all these different outfits to wear, and they were all really just too tight or too awkward; they just didn’t feel good. I actually got a part time job working in a gym, because after a year of trying to get my business off the ground, it wasn’t cutting it. So, I went and I worked at the gym daycare, and it was like 20 kids and two adults. And it was brutal. And I cried every day and felt like a failure. But I kept going.
JC: I had to do that too. And I have to ask you: What point did you get to emotionally or what did you need to do? Like, for me, I knew I had to check my friggin’ ego. Like, I’d rather not be broke than have people care what my job status is.
LE: My story was interesting. When I did what everybody else told me to do, the shoulds. You should go to corporate, you should have an successful job with health insurance and a 401k, and you should invest X percentage into your 401k. So when I left, I did the opposite of everybody telling you what to do. I pulled my 401k money out That was my nest egg for getting me by in the beginning. And when I started to run low on money, I had to cry a lot to accept the fact that I knew in my heart I needed a part time job. Here’s the thing: getting a part time job wasn’t about the finances. Looking back on it, it was the moment where I realized so clearly that I was going to decide to be successful. I hadn’t had that moment when I was blowing away $40K trying to be successful. But, when you’re surrounded by like 20 kids in a daycare… well, you make a decision that you’re not going back.
So that really was what I needed.
I needed that moment of failure to remind me: “Hey, I’ve gotta be successful now.”
KB: I actually did that, too. It was my first two years of trying to run a coaching business and getting into network marketing. I let Ryan have his dream to be the big entrepreneur, so he would show up and hustle and make maybe $2K a month, and we just couldn’t cut it. So, I got a job at a tiny little boutique gym. So funny; I worked there thinking, “I am an entrepreneur, and this is the death of me. What is the matter with me?”
And I remember one day, my boss came to me. Ryan and I had just started in our last company, and we were just getting a little bit of success. He said, “What are you guys doing? I wanna join!” And I thought, odd,l I’m signing up my boss. Okay. And it just took off from there.
My biggest failure or struggle, I would say, is always and will probably always be my mindset. I grew up very much in a belief that you have to work really hard, and that you will not be successful if you step out. All good things are going to come to an end, so why bother? That was my mindset. And so every day, I really have to check myself, because I can have the archetype of the saboteur. I can bring down everything that I’ve created, thinking someone’s going to come and rescue me.
So, I have done so much work. And I’m so transparent with all the ladies that I work with on how you need to really check yourself so you literally do not wreck yourself. You WILL crumble if you let yourself. Even just over the last two days, I was in massive overwhelm. And you’d think that you’re good. You’re making good money, you’re helping a lot of people, you’re on your mission. And then, out of nowhere, you’re just spinning.
If you’re not grounding yourself into your truth, you’re just spinning.
For me, I wasn’t allowing myself to have that spiritual practice. I wasn’t making time for me. And during all that chaos, nothing was coming to me because I was too full. And when you’re so full, you can’t be given more. Right?
The universe knows how much you can handle.
So I had to, for two hours, just completely disconnect. I went into the into the forest and went down in the ocean and like, let it go. Let the ocean air just purge everything I was holding onto. It was crazy.
JC: Wow I love this. I would love for you to expand a little bit about the archetypes, because I heard you and Ryan talk about this before. When I heard you guys talking about it, I just loved the way that you explained it. I think it resonates so much with people, and gives them clarity on what they’ve been doing. Can you expand on that a little bit?
KB: So we all hold a certain archetype, right? Or many, that take us through the walk that we’re on. I love to do work around “the Goddess.” Marianne Williamson always calls it your Goddess vessel; whichever Goddess vessel you’re in, if it’s safely contained and under control, then it’s powerful. As soon as you let it leak out into the world, then it’s taking over. An archetype is when you are your behavioral patterns. So, for me, I was showing up as a victim. Most people that are not making the money they want or are not having the general success they want, really do usually fall into a victim archetype.
They’re telling themselves stories that keep them three feet from gold.
So just reflect on where you are in your success or where you are in your mindset by what you’re going to, people who you are going to, and what you’re going to them for. I knew that when I had the bright idea that I wanted to take the world, I would go to certain people in my world that would say, “That’s not a good idea.” But, I got something from that; I got love from that because it was feeding my victim. “Kris you’re not good enough.You’re lazy. You’re not smart enough.” This is the same concept as sabotaging yourself. You can really easily get caught in that as well.
But, this is thing I want to say about belief systems, fear or archetypes: when you’re aware of it, it can’t take you out anymore. So, if I’m not seeing success I want today or I’m not feeling completely aligned today, am I being a victim? Yesterday, I was a frickin’ victim. And I had to accept that I couldn’t keep living that story. Then, you can choose to let it go, and then step into what the powerful side of that victim looks like. And that looks like: owning your truth, speaking your voice, not talking to the people that are going to cut you down. So, it’s actually empowering you and working for you.
LE: You know, I think it’s so beautiful how Kris is just so authentic and real about stuff that she still struggles with. Because, I think honestly there’s a fault or a flaw within the entrepreneur box; where you see all these successful people and you think, “OK, well they reached money. They’re successful. Now let me just follow their Instagram of all the cool vacations they take and the beautiful house they have and a life that’s happily ever after.” And it’s not true! There is a need for constant and continuous work as an entrepreneur and as a solo performer. Especially when you’re aligned in helping other people. The spiritual journey that you have to continuously go on, and the awareness that you need to tap into is never ending.
We’re always doing the work.
JC: Absolutely. It’s so interesting. It’s important to recognize that you have to keep doing the things that you did to get you where you are now. Same thing with health and fitness. I see this in a lot of the clients I work with, because they are like, “Well, if my client stops lifting weights, they’re going to lose muscle.” Well, the stuff that you guys teach – the spiritual side of things – it’s like going to the mental gym and building that spiritual muscle. You’re always learning how to tap more deeply into your intuition and knowing who you are in your most authentic state.
LE: I think it’s very true. Tony Robbins has a quote that just popped into my mind: “If you’re not growing, you’re dying.” I see so many people around me who, when I look back, are really the reason why I didn’t step into being an entrepreneur sooner. Like, my mom, my dad, those friends that just didn’t get it, and those people aren’t prioritizing growth. They’re trying to feel safe. They’re living life in the safe zone.
When you prioritize growth and you live a life of helping people grow, you need to be doing it.
Always reading personal development, going to events, studying… it’s a never ending game, guys.
KB: You know, I remember saying, “All I want to do is have $100K in my bank account. If have $100K in my bank account, I’m going to feel happy. I’m going to feel fulfilled.”
And I remember, when I got there…
LE: Nope!
KB: …I still felt the same! I still have stuff going on! I actually work on things harder now, because now my victim was trying to get me back to the lack. It’s just a constant choosing again.
JC: How do you guys recommend this to someone who’s listening to this right now, saying, “Oh my gosh, I’m a victim and I’m sabotaging myself. I want to break this pattern, but how do I do it?”
LE: So Kris and I both have these very strong viewpoints, and I think one of the things we really just solely agree on all the time is that the awareness is key.
People can say, “OK, well I’m a victim. Now what do I do?” Like first, just honor the fact that you’re acknowledging that. You’ve been living your whole entire life in the dark. That’s really the first key valuable piece of information in order to transform; that you’ve got to acknowledge what’s going on. And then to dig further and ask, “Why? What happened in my life that made me become the victim? What trauma did I experience that led me up to this point?” Because, if you can see that the whole reason you’re living now is based on all these decisions that had happened beforehand, it’s really nothing to do with who you are. In this moment, it’s a lot easier to let go and move forward.
JC: What do you think, Kris?
KB: Totally. Awareness, and then looking at why. Because, here’s the thing: you would not be listening to this podcast, you would not be in your network marketing business, you would not have a desire to coach…. If, at the soul level, you knew it wasn’t true. Why else would you? Something is pulling you. So they say, “I want to grow my skills, my leadership, my money, whatever.” But, what happens is these false stories that we were told literally pile up on us. So, what we need to do is be aware of what they are. I love to grab a journal, and if I’m feeling fear, I write it out so I can bring the dark to the light. What can I learn from here? And whose fears are these, because they’re not mine. Are they moms or the dads? Whose language am I using when it comes to money or business? You can be carrying around a fear for 36 years that was never even yours!
And in that moment, I also love to help people recognize what the emotional payoff is that they’re actually getting from it. When I was being a victim, I peeled it all back and I realized that that’s the only way I knew to get love.
Nobody supported me when I was successful, because they didn’t believe they could be successful themselves.
So I could link up with, “Hey I’m going to certain people for them to cut me down.” And that was the only way they would actually have a conversation with me for longer than five minutes. Wow. That’s the only attention they would give me. So, when you can identify that you can then make it up, how does that make you feel? A lot of the work that I do is helping people link back to when they were under the age of 10. Did you first feel like a loser then? Who said something to you that made you feel this way? Because, in that moment, you chose: “I’m never going to be like this again.” So maybe this is why you’re not successful, because why would you want to be successful if it’s painful for you?
JC: Absolutely. I remember early on in my entrepreneur journey, I read “The Four Agreements.” Something that stuck with me is, “If you’re the one who’s listening, who’s speaking?” And that smacked me right in the middle of the head! I thought, “Oh my Gosh, whose thoughts are these, which ones are mine, which ones are real?”
What would you say to somebody who is trying to figure this out?
LE: I get asked this question so much with people who feel like they’re not supported by their partners, or people who feel like their parents don’t support them in their entrepreneurial journey.
I always say that, sometimes, correcting the emotional stuff is harder than it is to take physical action because it’s so ingrained in you. So it’s about setting really clear boundaries. You know I was so bad in the beginning. I would go to my mother to tell her everything. You know, like, what my business was doing, how much money I made, how much money I didn’t make. And I never really got what I needed.
But I got what I was looking for: affirmations that I was a victim and that I wasn’t going to be successful. And it fed me. I needed to correct my physical habit to create the space and the distance so that I could do the healing. So, if a client has this issue, encourage them to create that distance just for her to really shine and step into her own space. Sometimes men (husbands) don’t understand or see things as spiritually or have dreams as women do, because they’re very analytical.
Sometimes, you need to create that space so that you can grow.
And then you can say, “Honey, look what happened!” and the support’s always been there. It’s the awareness of the dissonance, the open communication, and just being clear of knowing who you’re talking to and what they’re feeding to you in that moment.
JC: Yeah, absolutely. It’s so interesting how we will seek out people, situations, or opportunities that will reaffirm our beliefs. But then, as so many entrepreneurs begin to go through this growth process, their beliefs slowly start to change and they’re like “Hey, I’m invincible, I can do this.” And then, they go back to those same people and they’re met with something that no longer feels in alignment with their new beliefs.
Kris, you and your fiance Ryan are a great team. We’re speaking with our ladies in the academy about how to really approach the couple relationship when one person is having success. Because, gosh, when I talked to some of the women we work with… Lauren, actually, you posted this the other day about husbands, what did you write? I remember thinking, “I hear this all day long.”
LE: I wrote, “So, hypothetically: if all you coaches out there were suddenly making six figures in this moment, would you still want to be with your husband? And if the answer’s no, that’s why you’re broke.
Because, why would you want to put yourself in that situation where you’re finally successful and you have to do a really heartbreaking thing?
JC: Yeah, so they’re almost pushing it away. They don’t allow themselves to receive it, because when they get there, they’ve got some new stuff to deal with.
I’d love for you guys to expand on this a little bit, because there are so many women who aren’t in a place right now where their husbands are necessarily supportive. They don’t want them spending more money, or they think they spend too much time on their business.
So, what do you say to the women who are changing the rules that were made as a couple early on; they’re shaking the boat. So how does that woman make sure that she has an open line of communication with her partner?
LE: I think that, nine times out of ten, the woman in a relationship is scared and is holding back.
Deep down, she is going to get her husband’s support. I have never, in my entire experience as a coach, had a client who wanted to work with me and her husband kicked her to the curb because her dreams were stupid. It doesn’t work like that. I think that women wrap this up to be a bigger deal in their heads, when in reality, they have a loving relationship.
I did this, and what I had to realize: my thoughts are not everybody’s thoughts.
Jen and I were talking on a mastermind strategy call, and it was the week after I had hired Ryan to be my one-on-one business coach. So Jen and I were talking, and my fiance (in the other room) did not know that I just dropped $10K to hire a coach.
Jen asks, “Did you hire Ryan?” I told her that I did, and I told her the price. She said the price out loud, and I’m like, “Holy shit, oh my God, he’s going to kill me.”
When we got off the call, my fiance says, “So, were you not gonna tell me that you charged $10K to a credit card?”
And then he said, “I don’t know what part of you thought I wouldn’t be ok with this.”
And I thought, holy shit. It was all in my head. So, your thoughts are not always real. Only you feel and experience them. Sometimes, you have to step out of that and just remember that you have a whole set of money beliefs and other limiting beliefs that are very customized to you. Not everybody’s carrying them, too.
JC: This is also creating a story and dramatizing something that hasn’t actually happened yet.
LE: Yes, and when I think about it, my dad was always so mad at my mom because my mom didn’t work. My dad would say, “We’re broke and you need to get a job.” So my mother, the female energy of their relationship, was failing to hold up her half of the bargain.
My parents’ relationship suffered. So, I remembering that subconsciously, and coming to the table scared to really put myself out there.
KB: Yeah, I see a lot of women coming to us differently. Most of the time, their husbands are saying, “You can’t.” and then they’re going behind their backs. They’ll join in some programs and then show their husbands what they’re doing.
I lived this. Ryan was not supportive at the beginning of me hiring a business coach or starting my own business. He didn’t even want me to go into my emotions. He thought, “Why bother? Kris, just get over it.”
And now he TEACHES on this work. Now he’s deep-sea diving with everybody, and he’s incredible. It’s hilarious.
I believe that a woman needs to understand that her man is scared to death, and he’s not going to tell her.
He’s scared that you don’t need him anymore. If you’re stepping up and saying, “I’m going to do this, baby. I’m going to make six figures, and I’m going to bring you home.” He doesn’t necessarily want that. Because, a superior man needs a purpose, and a man without a purpose will perish.
I learned my lesson, because at first I said those things about making six figures and every day he had a forceful “no.” Like, my “I got this,” was masculine, and he was coming and trying to be masculine.
There was a lot of friction. So, I had to recognize that saying, “I’m going to do this for us,” was taking away his purpose. He’s like a hunter in the cabin days; he goes out and brings the food home. If we take that away from him, what’s left?
So instead I said, “I’m going to do this for me.”
“I’ll do this for me, and I appreciate all the work you do for me, and I wouldn’t be able to be as strong in my vision if it wasn’t for you.”
I started to change my language, and his guard came down. He felt like he was doing his work here in the world. And now, both of us can run very successful businesses together without having that clash. Because before, it was “who’s doing better than who.” Instead of the back and forth, now it’s just celebration. He has his purpose, I have mine, and we can meet each other.
JC: That’s amazing. You’re truly honoring each other in your own individual processes and being able to move forward in this really beautiful way together.
LE: I 100 percent love this, because:
It’s not about providing for the family. It’s about this internal soulful calling that you have, and you need to honor it.
I remember with my partner, my fiance Matt, calling and saying, “I just feel like this is something that’s always been inside of me and I need to listen to it for the first time.” I didn’t make it about the money. I didn’t come in and say, “Hey, I’m going to provide for us so you could quit your job.” We’re having those conversations now, but I didn’t sell it that way because that wasn’t what he needed or wanted.
JC: I think it’s so true. You both are saying that, even if you are with that alpha male who needs to step into their masculinity and provide, we all have that inner child in us that’s going, “I might need it. Am I going to be accepted? Am I going to be wanted?”
And Kris, you were saying even if they seemed like the toughest guy, there’s a part of them that’s wondering, “Will this woman need me when she’s super successful?” And ladies, if you are going to your husband, saying, “I have the most amazing team. I know the most amazing women. I went to this incredible event. I have the most amazing community. I stay up all night long and I don’t come to bed. And I just work work work!” Just put yourself in his shoes for a minute. You might not be super happy about that either..
KB: Noo. Ryan and I have to honor when we’re off of business, because we both work from home. So for him not to feel neglected, like even if I’m going for a big run in my business and we’re on the couch together, I will say, “Hey, do you mind if I pick up my phone and get back to this?” Not because he’s controlling me, but because I honor our time together and I honor him. I know that, if I wanted to, I would just leave the couch and go upstairs and do it and he wouldn’t see it as a big deal. But, if I want to be there but not present with him, I would ask.
And then we also know that I need to shut it off at a certain time and then I go into my goddess time. I can come back and be the fiance that he wants. I’m not in my masculine role when I need to come and spend that time with him and vice versa. Sometimes he needs to go out get into nature, and read, so he can also calm his hustle and bring it down a notch, too.
We both have to honor what we both need.
We need to acknowledge and accept that transition period, where you come back home and you feel reconnected.
JC: For someone listening to this who’s like, “Oh my gosh, that’s what’s missing for me right now; in my communication, in my relationship, and in my business.” How can they go and approach this conversation with their significant other if they’re really not super into all this kind of stuff?
KB: I get this question all the time. So what I did, and where I’ve seen most women having the greatest success with this, is to come from your heart. Sitting down and having a conversation just saying, “This is what I’m feeling.”
When you go to him and say, “Hey, I’m feeling like I really want to create this business or I’m starting this network marketing company. I feel it’s going to be so good for me. I would love to hear what your thoughts are on it, so that I can meet your needs so we can work on this together.” And then, from the masculine, he will ask you, “Are you going to bring enough money in?” Like Lauren said, they’re very analytical and very concrete. But, then you can just meet him, saying “Well, this is what I’m feeling, so if you don’t mind, can we play off each other? Can you support me, and I’ll support you?” Just to make it more like he’s included. The last thing he wants is to be left on the side while you’re completely in hustle mode.
LE: This was really important for me when I took the “big leap” and I decided to walk away from corporate. I had multiple conversations with Matt about it, because I was scared. So, I didn’t go to my partner one day and say, “Hey, I think I’m gonna walk away from my job.” I did that about 20 times, because I was feeling into this concept of, “What is this going to look like for me?” It was a very scary thing to do.
At the time, I had no business structure and no income coming in. I had no idea of what this was going to look like when I decided to step into being an entrepreneur.
So we set a game plan. This works for a lot of clients who I think live in fear of going all in, 100%. But knowing, “OK we will reassess this decision come January.”
Like, I didn’t say, “I’m never going to get another job. I’m never going to ever think about anything else and you’re just going to have to support me for the rest of your life.” For my partner’s security, we made a decision for the present time, and then in six months if we’re all tapped out of resources, then I’ll go get a part time job or go bus tables. Having that reassessment time was a safe zone for him, and it made it OK for me to thrive and go after something 100% knowing that he was also feeling secure at the same time.
What happened was: come January, like we kept pushing past, pushing past… and now that idea is, like, far gone. So, sometimes you need that safe space.
JC: Oh my gosh, I love it. So, when you’re working with clients and they are in this place where they’re trying to get to that next level of expansiveness, what are some tangible steps or tools that you use on a daily basis to get into this more positive, grounded mindset?
LE: I love this. This is one of my favorite things to do, so I can energetically feel. I know a lot of clients feel this and they don’t know what it is.
I can feel when I’m about to grow, because I’m heavy, I’m exhausted, and I’m feeling into something new.
I don’t know what it is. It’s almost like, I go on this cycle of hustle-excitement-excitement-excitement-rest and the whole time I’m hustling. I’m envisioning something, and that rescue zone for me is very much about surrender, trust, and seeing what this is going to look like. Usually, after that, an idea will spark. A plan will come into fruition. So I always say to just really pay attention to when you’re feeling a calling; to step into, to flow into your Goddess territory of relaxing and honoring your feminine energy.
This is something I think a lot of entrepreneurs don’t do, because they think it has to be all about the hustle and all about the go getting. And when you step into that feminine energy, you can actually align yourself with receiving more. I have a meditation room, journal, I light candles, I’ll use oils. I’ll surround myself in the moment and just feel whatever it is that I’m trying to feel into.
KB: Yeah.
I believe that if you’re forcing anything, you’re not going to see the results you want.
Especially as a woman in business, you can tap into a flow. We’re magnetic, and when you know how to turn that magnet on, it’s powerful. How do I turn the magnet on? This might sound so crazy for any of you. Self love is my foundation. If I do not have self-love, then I cannot make the money I want to make. I cannot serve who I want to serve. So, I do a few different things where I have a lot of conversations with myself in the mirror. I do. Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of introducing myself, like, “I am Kris Britton.” I am embodying that. At first, it was hard for me to even say, “I love you. I like you. You’re doing a good job.” Oh I hated that. I had to learn to get myself in front of the mirror and then eventually, it was like stretching. Then I will check if all my chakras are open in the morning, so I know that I’m a clear channel and then I can instantly turn on my magnet. You’re not going to get what you want if you’re closed off. I believe we need our energy centers open. So I spent a lot of time internally. My journal is like my best friend.
The first exercise I did that actually launched me into who I am today: I took a sheet of paper and I wrote a line down the middle and I wrote down clearly every single fear I felt around launching my business or making more money; even down to how I felt about myself. And then, I wrote the exact opposite. Instead of saying, “I am broke.” I wrote, “I am making ten thousand dollars a month,” or whatever my goal was at the time. And I said, “What if I just – for 30 days – focused on that positive side of the list, and took the action needed that felt aligned for me to get to that? That’s where everything started to shift for me.
LE: That exercise that Kris is talking about is really the foundation. You start retraining your brain to think differently about who you are and what your abilities are.
It’s just so funny, because any entrepreneur that’s not where they want to be has all these fears. They’re not good enough, they’re not credible, they’re going to fail. They suddenly think, “If I just had a hundred thousand dollars in the bank, I could just make X amount of dollars. Then all these fears would go away.” It doesn’t work like that. You’ve got to replace that negative energy with a healthy habit. You need to replace it with a healthy mindset. It’s all about reprogramming.
JC: Absolutely. So, what are some quick mantras or new beliefs that you guys recommend to your clients?
KB: I do mine based on their biggest charge. So let me explain. I can’t tell any of you what your affirmation is, because only you know what your affirmation is. You’re unlocking a door. So, on my website I actually have a workbook that you can go and get that. It’s completely free; I just put it up. I’ve used it on myself.
I’m far enough along in my personal growth journey that I understand that I am responsible for my life. How someone is treating me is exactly what I’m thinking or saying within myself and how I’m treating myself. So, I started to write out every single thing. I was pissed off at other people, resentful of what they’ve said to me . The list went on, and I’m like, “OK, well, this is fine now. I know this isn’t true.”
All of us have some resentment or blame that we’re putting on other people and you just need to flip it around and make it yours. Then, use an affirmation that’s going to support you there.
JC: So beautifully said. If we have some kind of negative belief, we’re losing. It’s almost like, if you have a wound on your skin and somebody sticks their finger in it, it’s going to hurt.
But, it’s a wound that isn’t there. It’s not going to trigger you.
LE: This is so important, because there is such paranoia around like, “People are going to judge me if I put my stories out there on social media. They are going to make fun of me if I try to be a coach or try to share what’s going on.”
You’re helping others. You’ve got to get over that shit.
And for the trolls that pop up at random, they’re just not even worth addressing.
JC: Right, but now, if a troll said something that I resonated on a fear – like for example, let’s say you’re a new coach and you are afraid that you’re a fraud, which is something that a lot of my clients struggle with especially early on in their journeys. “I’m not expert enough, maybe I’m I’m a fraud.” Well, if somebody comments on their live video and says, “You’re not expert enough.”, a lot of clients get really freaked out that someone called them a liar. They get worked up about whether or not that’s true.
Because it’s a belief that they have deep down and it resonates on one of their wounds, suddenly they can’t let it go.
LE: Yeah, it’s almost like they’re attracting it. That fear inside of you can just be pushed away, and you can pretend like it’s not there. If you have a fear of not being credible or being good enough, it’s very likely you will attract people who don’t believe in your services.
The only way to repair that is, not by just hoping trolls go away one day, but by really doing the inner work. “Okay, I don’t feel credible. Why? How do I fix this?” Every internal problem that you have is always fixable.
JC: Yeah, even with money. If you’re getting a lot of money objections, what are your beliefs about money?
KB: Yes! I had a client very early on in my coaching who came to me and invested, and she was really hesitant to invest. So as a newbie coach, I said, “Well listen, you go on a six month journey with me. If you don’t get where you want to be, I will give you your money back.
Now, let me explain why this is bad. This is not about money.
I just created an exit strategy for my client who I didn’t even have yet, and I was giving her a reason not to go all in.
Money is an energy, so there’s a reason why a coach’s prices are high. Because, you’re stretching to new levels to meet that coach to grow.
That client did one coaching journey with me. ONE HOUR. The six months passes, she says, “No, this isn’t for me.” And she wanted all of her money back.
I cried. I felt like such a failure and I felt like such a fraud. I felt like I couldn’t help this woman. I remember thinking, “Why is this happening?” and learning how to embrace this as one of the most valuable teaching moments in my career.. which was:
every client you ever get is a reflection of yourself.
Every client you ever get is a couple of steps behind you. They’re there to teach you a lesson. A coaching journey is a very spiritual thing. It’s not just about me helping that client. It’s about me growing to an even higher level when I work with that client. So, this woman was teaching me something that I really needed to learn. I had a look at some serious fears that I had about myself and not feeling good enough.
JC: I don’t know if you guys experience this too with a lot of the women you coach, but people will say, “How do I overcome money objections?” It’s not that we don’t get them, because of course we get them. But, when we’ve really taken the time to get to know someone – on a call or in a group – if it’s a good conversation and it’s all in alignment, there is no objection.
KB: That’s the thing: It’s never about the money! I learned this from my mentor a long time ago, before I did sales for business coaching:
My mentor says it’s never about the money. It’s one of two things: you either do not believe this program’s going to work, or you don’t believe that you’re going to do the work for the program. Which one is it? And then they’ll say, “Oh, you’re right. I tried the network marketing thing in the past and it didn’t work out. I ended up in debt.” So now they’re linked to that. They’re not looking at what is actually available for them if they take the coaching and apply it. So I say, “Well, imagine what is actually available for you now. What kind of money is actually available if you’ve got the support and guidance that you need in this program or in this business? And then they can shift their energy – in that moment – back to why they got on the call in the first place.
JC: Oh my Gosh, this is GOLD.
KB: Also remember: if someone is addicted to television, and their TV blows out, they’d be at Costco in five seconds to buy a new TV for $1000. So if someone is saying “no,” you’re not painting the vision strong enough; they don’t actually believe it’s worth it. They don’t see the value.
JC: I know both of you ladies have created an incredible opportunity, for life coaches specifically, but really anyone who’s in the coaching industry; to really amp up their skills and learn how to become a better coach. I’d love for you guys to share a little bit about that opportunity.
LE: So Kris and I have developed a really beautiful friendship over the last couple of months, and we’ve really felt this deep calling to create something together. We realized there was this market out there: people who wanted to serve and grow, whether it was as an independent coach or as a network marketer… but they were struggling to lead. They didn’t have the coaching skills they wanted, and they either couldn’t align with a program that was out there or they felt like they didn’t know where to find them. So, we created a course called Self-Love Method, which is really about doing all that in your work. For 12 weeks, we’re teaching coaches how to lead.
JC: So, if you’re in a place right now where you’re either looking to get into the coaching industry or you just kind of feel like you need a little bit more guidance on really helping your clients get to that next level… you need to go check out the Self-Love Method! Where can they go and learn more about this program?
LE: Anybody who’s interested can go to SelfLoveMethod.com. All the details are there, and you can reach out to us directly if you have any questions. One of the things that we’re really striving here to help people do is to eliminate all the blocks and the fears that they have within themselves. This is a very emotionally heavy and virtually heavy course. And the way we’ve designed it is so that you can do the work on yourself. You can remove all those blocks, and then you can apply that to your independent entrepreneur journey or in your network marketing. People don’t realize in network marketing businesses that they have to coach the people underneath them.
You can’t just give people a product and say, “Here go ahead, sell this.” You need to guide, to lead and o help people under you break through their own blocks so that they can start making money.
JC: Awesome. I know you both have your own individual communities as well, so I’d love for you to share where people can find you.
LE: Mine is WhatIsPerfection.com. This was originally a lifestyle blog that I had created a couple of years ago to help rock bottom women reclaim their lives. There’s tons of free guides, tools, a Five Day Manifestation Challenge, and there’s a ton of other resources. So that’s where I hang out. You can go to WhatIsPerfection.com, or SelfLoveMethod.com!
KB: I’m at SelfLoveMethod.com or KrisBritton.net. Honestly, social media is my job and that’s where I spend most of my time. I do most of my networking, business building and everything over there. So on Facebook: Kris Britton.
JC: Do you have any last words of wisdom?
LE: I would say that, wherever you are right now is not where you have to be. I want to get this saying tattooed on my forehead. So stop staying stuck! You have beautiful tools and resources, you’ve got Jen loading you with content. Use it! It’s all around you.
KB: Just… go live your truth today. Just go to your truth.
